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Things I've Found on the Ground

Family and friends, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It has been a while since I've published a blog post, but after audience interest in the rekindling of the blog here I am at the 11th hour to ensure a numerical year doesn't go by without a post. I guess I've been gone because I've been busy or less inspired…I don't know. Anyways, for the past two years (and some months) I’ve taken pictures of things I find on the ground, some of  them are amusing, so I’ve decided to share some and write little stories for each. So, please enjoy a small collection of photos and commentary of things I’ve found on the ground.  Making Love in a Hopeless Place Where: Walmart Parking Lot When: December What: An Open Condom Wrapper Can anyone imagine a more romantic place to cement your love than a Walmart parking lot. I surely can't. Forget fireworks you have the rustle of your grocery bags in the back seat. Meanwhile the cold midnight air wafts in through your cracked windows a...
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What I’ve Learned in College: Senior Year

Hello dear friends and family! It’s with great pleasure that I’m writing this blog post as I continue my most popular series ‘What I’ve Learned in College.’ I began this series as a fresh start for The Katherine Kazette and the original post quickly became and still is the most read post of mine. You can read it here!   I wrote the original post as a frantic, culture shocked, popularity grieving freshman.  However, The past few years, specifically this past year I’ve gotten to grow from that and even respond some of the concerns I used to have. So, with that being said I present ‘What I’ve Learned in College: Senior Year.’ It’s Never Too Late to Make Friends Going into this past year I was worried about friends as I didn’t have any friendships that continued from the previous years. After my parents dropped me off at my apartment I spent the day bawling, afraid of change and never seeing my parents again. However, my roommate and friend, Emily asked me to go to a parking lot p...

People of Walmart: Where Are They Now?

In the late 2000’s the website, People of Walmart, became the newest online entertainment that I couldn’t get enough of. Recently, I was watching the sunrise and wondered to myself where the People of Walmart are now. I mean what if they changed their lives around? I asked some friends about what they thought to which they responded they still shop at Wal-Mart. That wasn't exactly the answer I wanted, so I compiled a list of the People of Walmart and where I hope they are now. Just a disclaimer: this is a satirical blog post. I don't own any of the photographs or images. I'd also like to disclaim that all names and stories are fake, if there happens to be any resemblance of a real person its purely coincidental. Thank you. Debra Shoenbach Ever the trend maker, Debra Schoenbach “forgot” to wear a top during her trip to Walmart on a sunny, Florida day. She paraded around the store showcasing her newest outfit, a take on the everyday attire of a panhandle woman and the risqué ...

Things I Don’t Wanna Do Before I Die

Good Afternoon family and friends! I hope y’all are making it through the day with a silver lining around it. Recently, I saw a blog idea about writing an anti-bucket list, so I decided to give it some thought and write my own. I'm sure there are things that you want to do before you die, but also some you don't. So, maybe this could even inspire you to make your own and set boundaries for yourself.  Anyways, before I die I don’t want to… Do a body shot off of a hairy belly button. Have octuplets. Find a lover on Craigslist. Live life without seeing a silver lining in the day. Go hunting for aliens. Visit a roadside zoo.  Have a bad relationship with in-laws. Befriend a flat earther, however I’m willing to talk with them. Have surgery without sedation. Experience a bug or animal infestation. Have “the talk” again, but hey it’s not like I received much of one the first time. Pretend to be a horse. Use the words “Thrifting” or “Vintage Shopping” if at a thrift store. Accidentall...

My Favorite Conversation Questions

Howdy family and friends (probably mostly family)! I hope you’re all doing fabulous. I’m cool, I recently had a snow day. As many of you know I adore talking. One of my favorite things is to ask questions in order to start and keep conversations going. I always learn a lot about who I’m talking to and I rarely fail to laugh! I’m pretty sure the people I ask also enjoy these questions, so in honor of Vogue magazine I compiled a list of 73 questions that I’d love to ask and be asked! There’s a few you’ve likely been asked before and a few you never thought of being asked. I recommend choosing a number and going from there as they aren’t really in an order. In the future I’d love to do a blog where I answer them all. Enjoy! 1. What are your thoughts on child leashes? 2. Do you believe in bigfoot? 3. If OJ moved in next door what would you do? Move? Give him a pie? Invite him over for dinner? Give him the wave when driving? Let him borrow your gloves? 4. What’s the best compliment you’ve e...

What I’ve Learned in 22 Years…It’s Not Much

Hello, Hello, Hello! I hope you’re all well! It’s been about a month since I celebrated my birthday and I wanted to continue that celebration by sharing what I’ve learned in life thus far. I originally wanted to share one thing for each year, but that’s a lot to have learned and I haven’t learned that much worth emulating. I also wanted to focus on a few quality lessons rather than 22 subpar ones like reading or swimming (although reading and swimming are both important and I can teach you how to swim). Some of my lessons are more serious and some aren’t. I’ve also used pseudonyms in order to protect the anonymity of the people in each story or to had clarity. Obviously, Jesus isn’t a pseudonym. Anyways, please enjoy reading. Jesus Loves Me More Than Anyone Ever Has or Will This is a somewhat recent revelation of mine that I had during adoration or prayer. As much as I crave attention from others or desire a boyfriend, I will never receive the extent of love that I desire from them as ...

Alternate Hallmark Movies

Hello friends and family. I hope you’re well. I’m fine. This is the last blog for 2021! My year was pretty good. And I hope yours was too! Jesus is born too! Woohoo! Since I’m celebrating all 12 days, it’s still Christmas! So, to celebrate I’ve written some pitches for Hallmark movies based off of real titles! Enjoy! Baby’s First Christmas A woman nicknamed Baby has recently left the jehovah’s witnesses and is now a normal Christian allowing her to finally celebrate Christmas!  Christmas Makeover Sarah Marshall is a conceited New York makeup artist to the stars. On Christmas Eve, she’s asked to give a makeover to a homeless man named Fabulous, whom she denies. Sarah is then visited by three ghosts who show her the miserable life she lives with this behavior. Will Sarah get a mood makeover? More importantly will Fabulous get his? A Shoe Addict’s Christmas  Sarah loves shopping, especially for shoes. When purchasing a gift for a friend of hers, her card is declined and she disco...