Family and friends, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It has been a while since I've published a blog post, but after audience interest in the rekindling of the blog here I am at the 11th hour to ensure a numerical year doesn't go by without a post. I guess I've been gone because I've been busy or less inspired…I don't know. Anyways, for the past two years (and some months) I’ve taken pictures of things I find on the ground, some of them are amusing, so I’ve decided to share some and write little stories for each. So, please enjoy a small collection of photos and commentary of things I’ve found on the ground.
Making Love in a Hopeless Place
Where: Walmart Parking Lot
When: December
What: An Open Condom Wrapper
Can anyone imagine a more romantic place to cement your love than a Walmart parking lot. I surely can't. Forget fireworks you have the rustle of your grocery bags in the back seat. Meanwhile the cold midnight air wafts in through your cracked windows as you and your spouse become enveloped in the heat of the moment.
Anyways, I found this gem while walking out of Walmart with my dad. Then, he proceeded to make lots of jokes. That wasn't really fun, although some of his jokes were funny, but I couldn't tell him that.
Ya Gotta Zig or Ya Gotta Zag
Where: Junkyard
When: January
What: A 'No Parking' Sign
Earlier this year my dad and I were at the junkyard in order to find a tail light for my car. I saw this sign on the ground, adjacent to a vehicle, and found it to be so funny as we can clearly figure out how this car came to be at the junkyard.
In the Wild
Where: Whole Foods Parking Lot in Denver
When: February
What: An open container of organic hummus
What a more perfect place to find a container of hummus than the snowy parking lot of the Whole Foods in Cherry Creek North. One could even say this is the hummus' natural habitat. Maybe it got there as two friends unexpectedly saw one another in the parking lot and decided to catch up over a container of hummus. Or maybe someone needed a snack as they moved heavy groceries into their Range Rover. Either way the hummus was left in a perfect spot.
A Hot Potato of a Potato
Where: King Soopers Parking Lot
When:
Where: A Peeled Potato
This picture speaks for itself. People peel potatoes for a variety of reasons such as boiling, French frying, mashing, and more. But, few people peel potatoes or bring peeled potatoes to a parking lot as you cannot even boil or fry them there. At this King Soopers there is a gaggle of people experiencing homelessness, so maybe one of them peeled the potato, but I’ve never seen a person experiencing eating a raw potato. I don’t know, makes me wonder.
Where: Front Yard of College Boys' House
When: September
What: A caution sign for all the "Wet A$$ Pussy"
The boys who lived in this house consistently had a variety of alcohol and "lawn furniture" strewn about their front yard and this sunny day in September was no exception as I noticed a bright, new garden decoration! Last September I walked by this house near daily and had never even seen a girl step foot on the property, so it baffles me as to why these boys would display a sign to warn others of potential lewd encounters when there aren’t any to be had in the first place. Maybe the sign is a cautionary tale of the fall that can occur if you slip prior to marriage.
Well, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope you enjoyed, or at least found slightly amusing, this blog post. I will try to post more frequently this coming year, but that should be easy because I’ll have only have to post twice. Anyways, my prayers are for you all and God Bless!
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