My Fake Wedding

Hello Friends and Family! Happy New Year and Merry Christmas! Recently, my brother Lance was asked to write and perform a celebratory speech! Lance decided on writing a speech for my future wedding, so I saw this as an oppurtunity for myself and volunteered to write it for him. However, Lance ended up editing it and speaking from the heart for his class. So, I decided I’d share what I wrote as well as some parts. I'm a fan of it. 

  

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m Lance, Katherine’s younger and bigger brother and now 'Male Name's' brother in law! I want to give it up for everyone who came out tonight! As you all know Katherine and 'Male Name' are both attention whores and wouldn't have been able to get married without so many people watching and adoring them. Now, I’ve known Katherine since the day I was born and while she hasn't always been an ‘A+’ big sister, but instead more of a ‘C’ sister - passing - but, hey 'C's get degrees. However, Katherine truly has been a source of thoughtfulness, glee, and heart in my life. In fact, Katherine experiences so much joy and fun as an adult you’d she’d never matured past age 10. Anyways, I'd like to share what else makes Katherine so wonderful with you all tonight.

Katherine is a person who constantly makes you feel seen and heard, as well as making herself feel seen and heard. For example she always made it a point to say ‘Hi’ to me when coming across one another at school. Whether I was talking with friends or in freshman Spanish she unabashedly greeted me with an enthusiastic 'Lil Lancey!' Or when she spent years writing letters to me, often feet away from me, in order to have them delivered to me during a retreat. With that being said, 'Male Name,' I hope you know how much Katherine cares for and loves you, just as she does me. 

Katherine will also always try to make you smile, despite less than stellar circumstances. When we were in high school and college we lifeguarded, a1a job that I abhorred. During that time we dealt with keggers thrown for toddlers, parents not noticing their child had drowned, thinking rogue street kids seizing were faking it after choking each other out, a next door armed robbery, and even a clout seeking HOA. However, Katherine constantly tried to bring a sparkle to my eye and a smile to my face while working there. We would lick popsicles, play on an inflatable unicorn, and make fun of the pool patrons. Unfortunately, even with her best intentions the smile to my face would come when I quit. I'm glad you guys both make each other laugh and smile, despite tumultuous moments, just like she has for me.

Anyways, I want to end by saying thank you, once again, to everyone who came tonight. Thank you to my parents for my beloved trial run of a sister, as well as getting married after Katherine was born so she wouldn't have go grow up knowing she was a bastard. Thank you to 'Male Name's' parents, all the way here from Kentucky, for allowing your son to marry outside the family. I want to thank you Katherine for being a wonderful older sister who I've taught so much to and who has taught me so much. And to 'Male Name' thank you for being a great brother in law and I know you'll never make any stupid decisions with her because she'll beat you to it. Truly though, thank you for giving Katherine another person to make smile and laugh as that's what makes her happiest in life.  And to both of you, I'm glad you both found somebody whose hair is equally as curly, whose eyes are equally as blue, and someone whose equally as creative. I love you both very much. Oh, I hope this wasn't the worst part of your night Katherine, but I know it wasn't because my boy 'Male Name' has that covered later tonight! Cheers!

Well, thank you! I hope you enjoyed it, I did! God Bless!