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What I’ve Learned in 22 Years…It’s Not Much


Hello, Hello, Hello! I hope you’re all well! It’s been about a month since I celebrated my birthday and I wanted to continue that celebration by sharing what I’ve learned in life thus far. I originally wanted to share one thing for each year, but that’s a lot to have learned and I haven’t learned that much worth emulating. I also wanted to focus on a few quality lessons rather than 22 subpar ones like reading or swimming (although reading and swimming are both important and I can teach you how to swim). Some of my lessons are more serious and some aren’t. I’ve also used pseudonyms in order to protect the anonymity of the people in each story or to had clarity. Obviously, Jesus isn’t a pseudonym. Anyways, please enjoy reading.

Jesus Loves Me More Than Anyone Ever Has or Will
This is a somewhat recent revelation of mine that I had during adoration or prayer. As much as I crave attention from others or desire a boyfriend, I will never receive the extent of love that I desire from them as God is the only one that gives us that kind of agape love. That’s not to say a person can’t see Jesus’ love in another person, but your strongest desire for love will never be fulfilled by a person, only by Jesus. I hope that makes sense. Jesus is your truest love and we don’t even have to wait, He is already here! How beautiful!

Laugh
When I was in high school and partly in college I was a lifeguard at a neighborhood pool. I learned a plethora of things while there including how to handle difficult people, that age doesn’t necessarily equate age appropriate behavior, but most importantly how to laugh. 
During a hot afternoon as a 16 year old lifeguard, all had gone array. I was working with a substitute lifeguard from another pool, Danielle, when an unannounced birthday party arrived, and my coworker scheduled to replace Danielle failed to arrive as she was drunk in the mountains. I stood at the edge of the water pissed off when I noticed a distressed swimmer whom I jumped in to save. He was fine, but I wasn’t. I called a 45 minute adult swim that consisted of me in unbelief that I had saved a
kid while scrambling to find another lifeguard as Danielle stood around waiting to leave. At one point a regular pool patron of ours, thirty year old, Joey, had asked when adult swim would end, to which I replied by crying to him about everything that was wrong. He replied by saying “I just needed to know when adult swim was over.” 
Alas, Madeline, a senior lifeguard that I admired came to save me! I was telling her about the stressful day when she said “Are you gonna cry on me, Katherine?” To which I said “No, I already cried to Joey.” As I was talking with her, a girl came up to us with the report of something brown loitering in the water. Yeehaw. Madeline volunteered to investigate. She hopped in the water, put her face in, and evacuated the pool. Shit. As people left the water and parents argued about getting out, a snorkeling boy swam around the pool unable to hear us. I couldn’t help but laugh. There was nothing we could do besides wait, after all if he kept swimming he too would see the shit in the pool. That day, Madeline explained to me that you can’t get worked up about lifeguarding, but instead laugh because you can’t do anything about it. I’ve taken this advice to many parts in my life and try to laugh about things that I know aren’t worth the stress. 
After all, it’s meaningless to get so anal about something, when you probably don’t even like butt stuff in the first place.

Be a Friend
When I was in middle school one of my very best friends was a girl named Kaia. We constantly made one another laugh whether we were emailing each other or pretending we were polar bears. She was someone that almost always made my day better, especially when I was living with debilitating anxiety. At 14 she became heavily involved with bad influences and at 15 she was arrested. Kaia was clearly struggling with her relationships, her happiness, and her self worth. As she got involved with these bad influences I distanced myself from her, as I feared that I too would get involved in the same gimmicks. So, I began to ignore her and abandoned our friendship. When she needed a friend the most I had left. I regret ending that friendship, it’s one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. It’s something I think about often, sometimes even daily. While I understand why I did what I did at such an impressionable age, I do wish I had been able to be there for her when she needed a true friend the most. While, I know I wouldn’t have been able to fix her life, I would’ve been able to walk with her and show her how loved she is. From that friendship I definitely learned to walk with people and to continue loving them as they navigate difficult circumstances in life. After all, you could be the sole source of what a good friend is at that time in their life. Please pray for Kaia.

Forgive
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult and beautiful things we can do in life. My dad taught me how to forgive in eighth grade. He explained to me that failing to forgive someone doesn’t punish that person, but instead punishes yourself. The person that wronged you has likely moved on and might not even know or care about what they did. Meanwhile, your still living with the pain and resentment. 
However, forgiveness is an act of love for both the person that hurt you and for yourself. 
Don’t get me wrong it’s incredibly frustrating to be wronged and have the person not even care that they hurt you. But, it’s also frustrating to live in that frustration. Personally, I don’t think forgiveness means that you should hang out with that person or ignore the situation, but instead that you no longer hold the act against them. Sometimes, I think about how sad a life that the person that hurt me must have if they treat someone like they did. 
For example, when I was in sixth grade I shared with my class that I wanted to be a popstar, fashion designer, who also owned a zoo with at least two of every kind of animal in the entire world including bigfoots and unicorns, and be an Egyptologist on the side. I was laughed at and one eighth grade girl, McKenna, called me something to the effect of “bitch” for having big dreams. I held back the waterfalls of tears in my eyes. As life went on I realized that McKenna probably hadn’t reached her dreams (in her defense she was in 8th grade) and lived without the infinite hope of reaching hers. So, I ended up feeling bad for her that she went through life that way.
I think the best example of forgiveness is Jesus and then probably St. John Paul II, as he forgave and became friends with the man that had shot him. St. Maria Goretti is another fantastic inspiration. 
At age 11, she forgave the man who stabbed her and tried to rape her. Hopefully, they inspire you and myself to forgive as their forgiveness is truly incredible and honestly I don’t know if I 100% know what I’m talking about.

Hard Life
One of the most life altering lessons I’ve had is that nearly everyone is broken inside and in need of Jesus, despite what may be portrayed on the outside. I went to a private, Catholic high school gilded in bags, maids, sweet sixteen nose jobs, private jets, and the unspoken uniform of matching Tiffany necklaces and snow stained Uggs. As I got to know my classmates more intimately I saw how imperfect many of their lives were, including my own. 
Suddenly tears over receiving the wrong Burberry boots turned into tears over broken families, debilitating anxiety, insecurities, addiction, eating disorders, abuse, suicide attempts, and not feeling worthy of love. The lives of girls I wish I had, became lives I wouldn’t ever want to live. I realized that no one has a perfect life, everyone is broken. This isn’t to say I have a perfect life (I listed my own problems as well) or that people with lower socioeconomic statuses don’t have struggles, it’s to say that everyone has issues despite the facade that’s being shown. There’s also nothing wrong with owning a jet, wearing designer, or any other luxury as they’re ultimately things and part of a culture I have and continue to participate in. With all that being said I received (and gave, hopefully) some of the most unabashed love from my sisters. They’re some of the kindest, funniest, caring, selfless, deeply loving, unmaterialistic, and Jesus loving individuals I’ve met!

Talking with Boys
For many years of my life I was very shy and for th majority of my education I recieved in a single gender environment. So, I often saw boys as gods walking amongst mere mortals such as myself. This means many of my crushes have consisted of staring at them from afar and rarely saying anything more than a couple words around them. I mean how could I even be around such a stunning human being? However, this past year I have been able to talk to boys! Lately, I’ve been praying to grow in friendship with them, instead of being immature. I also think of them as a challenge to make laugh. For an example of my skills, over break I saw a young man that I used to get choked up around, but this time I could have a conversation with him! Fabulous, I know! I’m glad I don’t see them as gods anymore. 

Don’t Say No for Them
My aunt Kiki gave me this advice and it’s significantly altered my life and my view on things. In eighth grade I was unsure about where I’d attend high school. My family’s home was is an unpreferred school district and we were in the middle of a move with the intent of purchasing a house in a better district. It was a pipe dream of mine to attend Regis Jesuit, a private, Catholic high school. I was telling my aunt this and she encouraged me to apply by saying “Don’t say no for them.” The application had been closed for three months, but I still applied. After putting my trust in God and anxiously awaiting the verdict, Regis Jesuit asked me to attend an interview! And on July 3 I was accepted! This advice has lead me to try for things that seem improbable because after all the worst thing that can happen is being told ‘no’ and the best thing that can happen is accomplishing your dreams.

Today is the Best Day of My Life
One time my dad asked how his friend, Peter, was doing and he replied with “Today is the best day of my life!” This dumbfounded my dad. His friend went on to explain that a person doesn’t know when they’re going to die, so everyday should be the best day of their life. I know it sounds silly, but to me it means changing your perspective and finding a silver lining in every day. 
When I swam I had to wake up at 4am to go to practice. I didn’t like waking up so early to go swim and would often sleep in instead. However, I changed my mindset from dreading practice to delighting in it. After all, there was so much to look forward to! I got to dance in the car with my parents on the way there, the pool would glow an electric blue (since the deck lights would be off and the pool lights on), I’d swim in the same pool with boys, I’d be able to swim to Justin Bieber on the speaker, and I got an extra two hours to laugh with all of my friends! Once I thought of creating the best day ever I would literally jump out of bed in the morning! So although, it’s easy to say, make today the best day of your life! 

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you learned something or laughed, just as I have! God Bless!


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