After many months and wrestling with different possibilities I decided to attend CSU instead of KU. I ended up choosing CSU for many reasons including the offered majors, synchronized swimming, and feeling as if I were called to be here. However, I wondered what KU would've been like, which led me to applying to KU again this year.
I have had trouble deciding again as I weigh each option.
Currently, I am at CSU and have begun establishing myself. I am have aquaintafriends (kind of an acquaintance, but also a friend, a level 2-3 out of 5 on the friendship levels), have gotten a job that I enjoy, found restaurants, been involved in Cru and synchronized swimming, gotten into the design program and much more. However, at KU I would be able to experience a more prominent Greek life, exciting sporting events, their design program which includes getting your bachelors and masters in five years, and more.
I want to transfer from CSU due to my lack of joy and the lack of fun activities at CSU. The Greek life is not as prominent, the sports aren't up to par, it's very rural, and more. Part of this is my fault as I did drop out of rush (something I deeply regret) and did not go to sporting events because I didn't have friends then or because of other excuses I make. However, the KU design program isn't as good as CSU, I'd have to make new friends, I'd have to get a new job, and I don't know if all my classes would transfer.
There have been times I've been happy at CSU at times like laughing in my drawing class or riding in the back of a truck (I'm Wild). I imagine I'd be happier at KU because of the reasons listed and because of how I felt when KU had their Denver night a year ago. Previous to that event I wasn't a fan of KU because my family had always been involved with the school. My family has attended the University of Kansas since the 1800's and I would be 5th generation to attend. In a way being a Jayhawk is in my genes (so is Celiac disease and poor vision). Sometimes my mom would even joke with my brother and I that we wouldn't be apart of the family if we didn't attend KU. While, I did feel a huge load to choose KU last year because of legacy. I enjoyed KU after visiting the Denver night event and that enjoyment has stuck with me. I never felt like I liked CSU even on tours, partly because I was sad that I'd be leaving home. When deciding, I always go back to the fun events, tradition, and my mom shouting "Rock Chalk" to anyone with a KU logo on. But, I also look at what CSU has and what I have achieved here.
I think my lack of happiness at CSU extends from how much I miss my friends, family, and way of life. I don't know maybe I think the grass is greener in Kansas, but after all as Big Sean said in the Justin Bieber song, "As Long As You Love Me", "But the grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where ya water it." Thanks Big Sean!
When thinking about my options I like to think back to my Cru meeting when we discussed wisdom and how it is easy to ask God to decide, but we can ask for wisdom and use what God has given us to make decisions. We explained wisdom as a boy asking his mom what to wear everyday until she says "You can look outside!" I put this into my own version as a girl asking her mom what to wear that day, a swimsuit or a parka. The mom says "You can look outside!" The girl looks out and sees it's snowing. She knows the parka will keep her warm, but she enjoys swimsuits more. In the same way I know CSU has a lot going for me, but anyone who knows me well (or just knows me) knows that I'd much rather go in the snow wearing a swimsuit rather than a parka.
As this decision comes rapidly, I must choose between what makes me happy and what is the best overall decision for me. So please think of me and understand that I wrote this just to get my thoughts out.
God Bless!
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